Quick Notes

To say that emotionally I am spent would be under statement and that sucks for me because that is not a healthy place for someone who is as volatile as me to be. I know that I have to work everyday and keeping my head cool and not freaking out when it comes to getting things done and dealing with relationships and everything that goes with them.

Yesterday while sitting at a stop sign I saw him. Eric in the event someone reads this and doesn't know who he is. Just seeing him and waving at him made me happy to see that he is doing well and starting to live a normal life made me happier than it should have because I worry about him and what is going on in his life although I get the very clear impression that he could care less about me and what is going on in my life. I haven't spoken to him in months and as his wedding gets closer our contact will only get to be less and less I am sure. I miss him and yes a part of me still loves him to pieces I just want him to be happy that is all I want.

My cousin Staci is getting married and I am trying as hard as I can to be happy for her. I know it sounds crazy for me to say that I am totally jealous of her and her happiness. But I will get over it because I have to and I really should be so happy for her.

Rob and I are doing okay but like any relationship there are rocky spots that I don't know if I can handle but I will try if that is the last thing I do.

Talk to you all later.