Another Holiday Past

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone and here I sit just now taking time to reflect. Why is it that we take the time that we should be sitting back thinking about everything that we have going for us and instead we have the stress of making sure that everyone is happy healthy and set for the influx of time that is spent with the family.

Let me give you a run down of the last 5 days. Thursday we had a simple diner with my mom, brother and grandparents. Friday diner with my dads parents, entertaining you betcha. You never know the topic but you can be sure of one thing grandma isn't going to like something or she is going to be so happy with your choice that its unreasonable. If I had said I left my boyfriend and i was going to be singe forever she would be so happy for me and be oh so supportive. Since the news is that I am thinking about getting married then it is awful and unreasonable for me to do such a thing. Friday night I went and hung out with some friends and talked and laughed a lot. It was nice to be out of the house for a while at least. Saturday was a soup diner with my moms entire family which was good since no one killed each other we deem it a success. I also helped some friends move on Saturday and made one long drive to Angola to see their new house and get all of their stuff out of their old house. Sunday I had my cousin with me all day and it was nice to get to see her and spend some time with her, which I don't get to do very often so we had some fun.

There is more but not right now I will be in touch...everyone keep in touch please I feel alone out here.

One weird Place to Live

Indiana is one weird place to live especially when it comes to weather patterns...this morning it was cold. Frost covered all of the windows on my sad little truck sitting all alone on the driveway. So I got the dog dressed (pink collar and a leash) and we walked out to start the truck to try to take the chill out of the air but this did me no good. I mean the air was warmer once I got in and the frost was starting to melt but it was still cold to say the least.

Today we freeze and in two days for Thanksgiving it will nearly 60 degrees. This place is funny and temperamental.

One Long Night

Last night was rough at best and there was very little sleep to go around. Around 10 pm my aunts best friend called and needed a place to stay but that was just the beginning. It is a domestic dispute that has overtaken her entire life all the way down the smallest things that she has to deal with. Her husband drinks...a lot...not like me you know 1 smernoff a month or so...and he doesn't pay the bills with his check he just pays part, yes part not all, of the house payment and leaves the rest of the bills up to her to take care. She runs her own business and does a decent job of it but struggles when it comes to money management so we as a family are slowly but surely working with her on these issues. Anyway back to why she ended up in our basement...she and her husband got in a big fight and without thinking she stormed out and into the woods with no car keys, no coat, and no cell phone, not that the phone would have mattered they have been shut off because of failure to pay the bill. So after leaving, which was the best thing for her to do she then needed a place to go and she lives next door to her in-laws who she was pretty sure wouldn't be happy to know that she had left in such anger but wait it gets better...they had heard the fight and called the cops about what was going on thinking that she had started, by asking for a little bit of help in their marriage but in reality it was her husband who was being the world biggest jerk.

So here we are at home watching the end of Law and Order because that's what I do and boom three extra people move into the basement of our house, yes that is three...The mom, the 10 year old, and my favorite the 3 year old. I should warn you that I don't do real well around little kids because they freak me out more than anything. I have gotten better since I have spent time with my friend Heather and her 1 year old but they still freak me out and if Deven starts to cry I just want to give him back so that I don't break him. The concept is the same when it comes to these two little kids...the oldest isn't too bad because she listens pretty well but the 3 year old is so overwhelming for me and to make it worse I don't how long they are staying so I am going to have to deal with it.

Okay enough of that...Life is okay I still haven't gotten moved to Fort Wayne but it is starting to good for the first of the year. I know where in town I want to live and even if I have to commute to Syracuse for a few weeks from there life will go on and I will find a job there, I am after all smart and wonderful if I may say so myself.

I have one more tangent then I will log off but its a doosy if you're not in the mood this is your warning..........

Why is that if men have a weight problem then it is okay and they can get jobs but because I have one and I am working on it I can't seem to find work and I know that part of it is that I am overweight, no one seems to care that I am loosing weight or that I have busted my butt literally and figuratively to get where I am and I will continue to do so until a point in time where I think I am being treated fairly by those around me. I just so pissed off over the whole thing. I went to college and studied my self nearly to death but no one seems to even care because I have extra poundage around my hips and tummy then I must not be qualified to the job you know after all I'm fat.

Okay I'm done for now.

THIS JUST IN

I have no life, okay so that's not news but it seemed important to me. My friends Mike and Heather just moved away and once angain I find myself stuck here in a town that I can't stand alone with no close friends and no one to really interact with other than my fearless dog, who really isnt' fearless at all and she is a big chicken...sure she will bark at strangers but only after hiding behind you to do so...

I am looking at places in Fort Wayne again. I've decided that I am just going to go for it.

Okay a Bit more Time

Drama, Drama, Drama.

Have I mentioned before that there are times that my family drives me completely nuts, which isn't hard to do because I am nearly there all by myself. I know that seems a bit old news but it is true. The topic of choice is money. The bottom line I really don't have any, which they point out like it is news to me and I am instantly going to be able to make money without any work or time spent redoing my financially status. It is strange that I know that I will be okay and I am at peace about it yet everyone else feels the need to be overly involved in the happenings or for that matter the non-happenings of my current finances. It does seem to me that I am sure there are those out there that are much worse off financially than I am but still what are we going to do.

Not being in school has been wonderful yet a bit unnerving as well. I miss the studying and the time with friends that I once had. I knew what it was like to hang out and laugh with people who were my own age, heck that were the age of my boyfriend but now I spend hours alone and go to bed early because I can't seem to get adjusted to this schedule that I wanted so badly. I do love the schedule but since he works seconds then that means there is very little time for the two of us. I haven't seen him in three weeks and it is about to kill me emotional. I want to be with him I want to be married I need these things we have been working so hard to have these things and I wish that I could make them a part of my everyday life. Now I don't live in a world were marriage will make everything better or that we will live happily ever after for ever and ever but we can communicate, most days, and we are good at expression, he is the first thing that I think about when I wake up and the last thing that I think about when I go to sleep.

I still love my truck and it is nice to have something that is mine and really mine and no one is going to take it away from me for no reason, at least not yet I wouldn't put it past my mother to give it here best shot to be real honest.

I miss everyone hopefully soon I will get to start spending time with my friends again. You can call me though...Just so you know.

An Update

There are those who still read this, I think. I try to use to to communicate the big things but it seems to fall by the way side as my life takes many uneventful turns. Rob and I are still together and the talk of getting married has become a forfront conversation and the idea is exciting yet very scary. Three kids in one big dive, wow!!! What on earth would I do with that. I know that I will be a good step-mom but I know that there is a need in their life and I could fill some of it.

My new job bores me to pieces, nothing better than simply being an entry level receptionist with a MBA for christ sake. I know that it seems to be a bit odd that I would have such hard core feelings about this after all of the complaining that I did about not haveing a job at all. I am happy to be working but I would be happier to be working in a city that I want to live and in an organization that I feel I am truely being utilized in.

I will post more tomorrow and try to keep it updated.