Stepping out of my comfort zone isn't something I am good at to say the least, but tonight I am going to do it.
In other news I bought a new computer that works right...woohoo I'm so excited.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
This week hasn't been easy on me at all. Between all of job interviews, family issues (which we always have), work, school, and about everything else that you can come up with I am forced to end one relationship in order to continue another one.
This week I called it off with Rob and I have to tell you that it hurt. I really like his boys and I really like him however as a result he isn't as available as I need him to be for me. I have been dating both guys for a couple of months now and have discovered that Tadd has so much more to offer me that I need right now. I don't doubt that Rob has all of these things as well he simply isn't in a place where he can put it all out there for me like I need.
I am looking forward to dating Tadd exclusively and seeing if there is anything there that can be cultivated to a 'higher' form of a relationship. I am stressed out because it is tough to stop dating someone that I have grown attached to over the last few months but I am also excited about what has started between Tadd and I. Here goes nothing.
This week I called it off with Rob and I have to tell you that it hurt. I really like his boys and I really like him however as a result he isn't as available as I need him to be for me. I have been dating both guys for a couple of months now and have discovered that Tadd has so much more to offer me that I need right now. I don't doubt that Rob has all of these things as well he simply isn't in a place where he can put it all out there for me like I need.
I am looking forward to dating Tadd exclusively and seeing if there is anything there that can be cultivated to a 'higher' form of a relationship. I am stressed out because it is tough to stop dating someone that I have grown attached to over the last few months but I am also excited about what has started between Tadd and I. Here goes nothing.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Vacation
I left 2 days late and returned 3 days early yet I feel as though over all vacation was a success. My family didn't kill each other or anyone else for that matter however there were several things missing from this trip that have been there all along for so many years.
1. My grandparents--They were unable to join us this year because of illness that has recently over taken their household. It is hard to say if there will be a next year however the question quickly becomes will they be joining those who choose to go.
2. My cousin Staci--I love her so much and I missed her all week, well at least the part that I was there for. This trip was the time she and I sat aside to really bond with each other again. We are both leading very different lives and now we struggle to even set a coffee date. I don't know what the next few years in either one of our lives holds and that is even more difficult for me to deal with than I believe she even realizes. I have had several attempts at moving out and to be overly honest they have always worried me because of the likelihood that we will grow even further apart.
3. Mass craziness--this trip lacked all of those things that have made our family what it is, a bunch of nuts attempting to pretend that nothing is wrong and that the things that go on within it are normal. I mean my aunt and uncle had their, we miss our kids face on, which translates into we miss Stephen, I'm no dummy I know how it works. My mom pretended to be upset with me before they left that I wasn't coming up right away and did an even worse job when I went to head back home.
I know that this is a changing of the guard of sorts but it is still strange. I don't know about Staci but for me it is life changing to draw lines and then amazingly enough sticking to them once they are drawn.
wow what a difference a week makes.
1. My grandparents--They were unable to join us this year because of illness that has recently over taken their household. It is hard to say if there will be a next year however the question quickly becomes will they be joining those who choose to go.
2. My cousin Staci--I love her so much and I missed her all week, well at least the part that I was there for. This trip was the time she and I sat aside to really bond with each other again. We are both leading very different lives and now we struggle to even set a coffee date. I don't know what the next few years in either one of our lives holds and that is even more difficult for me to deal with than I believe she even realizes. I have had several attempts at moving out and to be overly honest they have always worried me because of the likelihood that we will grow even further apart.
3. Mass craziness--this trip lacked all of those things that have made our family what it is, a bunch of nuts attempting to pretend that nothing is wrong and that the things that go on within it are normal. I mean my aunt and uncle had their, we miss our kids face on, which translates into we miss Stephen, I'm no dummy I know how it works. My mom pretended to be upset with me before they left that I wasn't coming up right away and did an even worse job when I went to head back home.
I know that this is a changing of the guard of sorts but it is still strange. I don't know about Staci but for me it is life changing to draw lines and then amazingly enough sticking to them once they are drawn.
wow what a difference a week makes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
