Tick Tock

Would you look at this it is May 6th and I have no idea what the next few weeks hold for me or for those around me. How I plan on making different choices or more importantly how do I leave this place and not hurt inside. The clock is quickly ticking on the time that I have here and I have no idea where I am going when I am done here or where what exactly the next step is. It never stops amazing me that God knows the beginning from the end and yet we as humans often times refuse to listen to what He is saying to us when we need to hear it the most.

Today I cried which is different for me. The idea of another family vacation or week spent here at home hurts inside. I do love my family, most days, but if you don't know them you would understand. I have been blessed with one of the best cousins on earth but she is off making her own life which is wonderful for her and I am so proud of her she is a college sophomore now, wow when the heck did that happen? I remember when everyone was making a big deal out of the fact that she was learning to drive and that 2 of us would have our drivers licensees. Now all 4 grandchildren have them and are running ourselves from place to place and not having a clue of what each other is up to now.

A year ago I was worried about graduation from college and getting a new job and where my future was going to take me. I was concerned about telling Eric how I feel about him and how our friendship would change forever. I stressed out about money and where I would live. I didn't have a clue what the future really held and that was that. What is strange is that I am still worried about many of those things and still don't know exactly what to do with them all. I am finally starting to get some other job interviews which is good because of the many different changes that are taking place in my life right now.

So as the clock runs down on what I am doing now and where I am headed I am hopeful and I am positive yet I worry because I am human. So now I go to bed and try to get some sleep. Have a good night everyone.