Complete devastation

You know its coming soon and there isn't anything you can do about it but it doesn't make it hurt any less then bam it happens. He moves on and you aren't a part of what he wants in his future. You do what every girl does you cry at moments uncontrollably and don't even know why. Is is hurt, sorrow, pain, or just the thought that this in fact could cost you the friendship that you hold so dear.

We've known each other for 12 years, a long time considering in only 22 and he is 21, and over the last few weeks we have grown further and further apart. Again dating one of your best friends seems like a good idea but we both forget to take into account what happens after you break up and both try to start new relationship. I have never had a relationship end that hurt me like this one does and I don't even really know why it just simply hurts. We are trying to live like nothing happened and that we can be friends just like things used to be, but deep down I'm not sure it can happen not because we don't want it to but we are both so exposed to each other that it makes changing things back much more difficult to do.

I never thought it would hurt to see him move on, I've seen him date dozens of girls and it never bothered me until today when I see the smile of a new relationship on his face and hear about how wonderful she is and how they have known each other for two years and he thinks that she might in fact be "the one." There is another topic "the one" is that person really out there for you or do you simply think that they have to be because it is what you have been told for your whole life or more importantly can you miss "the one" when they are right in front of you. Even though I have dated other people over the last couple of year I always come back to him and realize that my love for him is beyond that of simply being friends but now I am forced to question it.

So the question still remains how do I handle all of these emotions, how do I move on, and more importantly how do I salvage what is left of our friendship. I miss him so much and love him so much and don't want to hurt this bad over something that it appears I never had in the first place.