The Thought

After my last post my cousin posted a comment. I love comments and sometimes they really move me.

"but it's kind of sad it's ending, even though the last few years have been more frustrating than good. I think I'll mostly miss a week to actually hang out with you, since that's one of the few times we get to. Life happens. I think I'd like to take my kids there someday (just maybe without their grandparents on their mother's side ;-) -staci"

As far as the ending of the trip being sad it is true. Silver Lake has strangely been the only thing that has been constant among our family even in all of the disfunctionalism. We as a family would make one heck of a case study for many different psychology, sociology, family studies, or any other class that truly needs an example of how not to do things in their own lives. The problem is Staci and I have been part of this running experiment and we seemed to finally pull ourselves away from the craziness but our brothers have not faired so well.

I was looking forward to spending the time with Staci for a week. I love her so much and yet I never get to see her. As our lives have started into "adulthood" if you will it has only gotten worse. When we were younger our parents would keep us apart, by our parents I mean her parent, who didn't care for me and at times I wonder if she does even now. Now we are old enough to do things and spend time together but we have classes and work and all of that other stuff we so commonly refer to as life and as a result in many ways we have grown closer together while growing further and further apart. I love that girl, I hope she knows that and no matter what she will always have a place to sleep at my place even if it is the couch.

I believe my children and I will go to Silver Lake as well. Maybe not for 9 days at a time and maybe not with the whole family but we will go. Silver Lake has so many stories and good times that go with it even with the all of the problems. Anyone recall a year where someone (me) hit a tree in the camp ground, or maybe there was a pair of glasses lost in the lake, perhaps Bethaney was attacked by the boat, interesting to think of all the good times and laughs that have come and gone with the trip. It is sad to think it is in many ways over now. I know I will remember the good times over the rougher and bad ones but it is still where we sit as the youngest grandchild starts his first job and I pack up to move to a different city. My how times have changed from those magnets on the side of grandma's fridge. We are all adults except for Stephen and he is quickly approaching it as well. My aunts, uncles, and mom are all in their 40s now and I am entering my mid 20s. One day refection will be sweet and happy but today it is different. This is it, we are growing up, and we will be okay no matter what happens over the next few months.

The whole family dynamic is changing and there doesn't seem to be much of anything that we can do about it. However I think any change in this family is good change.