The letter of complete honesty...Wow this was hard

First and foremost I am writing this because I consider you such a valuable friend and I feel as though I can no longer continue on as if nothing has happened between us when in fact it has. I knew that the transition back to being ‘just friends’ would not be easy yet it has proven even harder than I planned for it to be, for me.

I realize that we only dated for about six weeks but in those six weeks our friendship and the way that I feel about you changed. Not changed as in the value of you in my life or changed in the way that I feel when you walk into a room or log on for a short chat, yet it has changed. I have spent the last several months trying to pretend that it didn’t but it did. I can not pinpoint the exact moment in which I realized that it had happened but now I know for sure that it did.

There is no reason for me to continue on like it hasn’t. I fell head over heals for you which in all honesty I never expected. I figured it would just be a nice way to get to spend more time with you. Not that my heart would love your smiles, your laugh, long pointless walks, simply hanging out and being comfortable with someone that I care about.

The night that you first kissed me was different than any other night. My heart melted, like it never had before, and I am still trying to figure out why. I know this may seem very strange to you but having known you for as long as I have made it seem even stranger to me to be falling for you.

There are so many other words that seem to need to be said here but finding them is fleeting. I have noticed that even when you piss me off, I want you in my life. The fact you can’t commit, you don’t know where you are headed, and you have no idea how you plan to get there make me smile because then I know that you are being honest with me.

I fear being this honest with you may strain our friendship but I honestly feel that it is the only way to keep myself sane. I have heard from several people that things were different when I was around you and how I felt showed every time someone, no matter who it was mentioned you. For me you will be the one who got away and the one who stole my part of my heart.

In My Heart Always,

Julia M. Wright