When the time comes

"When the time comes to move on it will be harder than you ever thought possible Julia. There will still be tears and there will be heartache and it will never be easy but some days will be better than others and it will ultimately okay. It will be okay I promise and no matter what you will always have me. Good-bye, Julia, I will always remember your friendship and I love you."

These are words that I heard today as a long time friendship left my life for a long time. There are times that it is hard to realize that I am in fact 23 years old now and that I have to take a different paths than those who I have known for so long. As one of best friends left it was hard to sit and face it. Many of the people that I consider friends are now married or soon will be and that is hard when I sit here as single as I ever have been and don't even have a real prospect on a relationship. I have looked for love in all of the wrong ways and that hurts to every time that it doesn't work out.

I don't think that we are no longer friends and I don't think that we have left each others lives forever yet it hurts to see my friends move on with their lives and here I sit stagnant. Still living with my mom which is a disgrace to everyone around me. I have people who look up to me and consider me a role model who see that once I went to school I came home and did nothing with my life and still need to accomplish things. I have made new friends along the way one being Alan, who I go to school with now. We met when I was in Salt Lake one time it was great, he is the only face that I have to go along with my current degree endeavors. Some day there will be many other faces to go along with his but until then it is what I have.

It is hard to see where I am going to end up or exactly how I get there and there will be many more 'new' friends along the way and possibly reconnecting with some old ones as time goes on but until then I will sit here and wait to see what is going to happen in the future. So I end this post just like I started it:

"When the time comes to move on it will be harder than you ever thought possible Julia. There will still be tears and there will be heartache and it will never be easy but some days will be better than others and it will ultimately okay. It will be okay I promise and no matter what you will always have me. Good-bye, Julia, I will always remember your friendship and I love you."