Memories

As I sat across the table from an old boyfriend, I stared at him not even really knowing what to say. There were so many great memories of time we spent together. Two years at Taylor and he and I were together all of the time, we had so many laughs and so many tears.

He was supposed to be 'the one' that I was going to be with for all time. I know that I still love him but we have taken such different paths over the last eight months. Loving him however did nothing for the amount of pain that he caused me and for that matter the pain I caused him. Relationships are so draining and commitment filled, as they should be, but when they aren't right when they fall apart it is like a whole world is crashing in around you.

We did manage to through in an argument for old times sake I guess and some things were said that made me want to cry in front of him but I didn't want to appear weak. As he left to go to Fort Wayne there were a few tears on my part, but not sad to see him leave tears, thankful tears that I didn't marry him and that we choose to take our own paths and that God did not allow that path in both our lives to continue.

So with a bruised ego and some sad missed dreams that we had together we will both sleep tonight and try to imagine what might have been if we had in fact stayed together. I wouldn't be sad about my best fried, but in all fairness he wouldn't be my best friend if he and I had stayed together. So where do I go from here. I take a few minutes to reflect on what used to be and try not to be overwhelmed from them all.

Memories are just memories no matter how many different ways you try to approach it. There are so many different memories that make me smile and those are the ones that I would really like to keep.