Are you handicapped

So last nights message from Pastor Cox's was about the fact that in faith and in life we all are handicapped in some manner. We all have things that cause us to stumble and fall, we all have pain inside, and we all have to decided what we are going to do with these handicaps. There we a lot of analogies runners, golfers, horse races, just to name three plus several comments about the up coming election. Even though he said He couldn't tell us which was to vote, you know where he stands no big surprises there.

So as I sat in church nearly in tears because my emotions are spinning out of control, which I am not a big fan of because when they do, I have to fight everything in me to get them back to where they need to be. I cried at church last night, I don't like to cry, it makes me feel weak, but last night for some strange reason it felt okay, sorta. I just sat there thinking about the fact that many of the handicaps I bring to the table are simply my own doing and they didn't have to be there but I also don't know what it is like to live beyond this self destructive state. That is exactly what this is, self destructive, I seem to forget that everything I do is being watched and who I am is to be a testimony, and I slow start to eat at, pick at, and ultimately mutilate what I am more than likely to become because I am set on this path of self destruction. Wow that was a huge revelation for me but now I am not sure what to do with it. I will be pondering on that while I am at work today.

Yesterday we had an inpomtu party for my grandpa because it was his birthday, well actually today is but yesterday was the only day that some of us could get together and tell him that we appreciated him.

The best part of yesterday by a landslide goes to the fact the Spite family was here in the morning and I got to see Jadyn (Chana's baby) and she is so cute and really has started to develop a bit of personality. She has grown so much in the five weeks that I didn't get to see her and I am sure by the time I get back to Cookville she will be even bigger than she is now, mainly because babies tend to grow and fast and I won't get back down there for a few more weeks. Chana didn't get to come with the family because she got a promotion and had to work and I am sorry that I didn't get to see her but we can talk on the phone and stuff and be okay. Paul is doing well at his new job and Sally seems to be doing alright with her new role of babysitter and grandma. I can't image what it is like to get up in the morning and look at Jadyn because to me she is so very beautiful. I miss them so much and really wish that they would just move back to Indiana but I don't really think that is going to happen.

So as I go to the doctors because I have to work this afternoon, I am forced to remember that we all have handicaps and it is just a matter of what we do with them. So what is your handicap?