So Cold

I woke up this morning to a rather harsh thing...It is cold, really cold. Work was interesting because of where I have to stand. Right inside the front door where every time it opens a cold breeze rushes in. I worked in a Taylor Hoodie and an ankle length skirt because I was so cold. I also laughed a bit because Eric is out camping for the weekend and he is going to freeze and it isn't going to be me. I hope he has fun but I am going to miss talking with him over the next couple of days but I am also plotting a come back so here's hope'n.

Yesterday was a good day, it started out planning to see two good friends but it turned out that I got to see three. I went to Fort Wayne to see Bethaney and Freida and did but then I got phone call as I walked into the mall to see them and it was Bryan, again Eric's best friend for those of you who don't read everyday. Bryan was driving by and stopped to see me for a bit. We chatted for a few minutes but not to long because I can go see him whenever and I don't get to see Bethaney and Freida everyday so I wanted to spend most of my time with them. Bryan and I had a decent chat while I ordered my dinner and then he went off on a date (although he swore it wasn't an actual date, but whatever). I did learn one thing last night, never ask Bryan if his date is cute or not because the answer may not be what you are expected.

Bethaney and Freida and I ate dinner at the mall, it has been so long since I had had chicken and rice and it was wonderful to sit around and talk with old friends. I didn't do much of the talking, this is something I am working on, I have noticed, especially recently that I simply talk to much sometimes. I need to listen more, to other, to God, to everything around me, to my body, I just need to learn to listen. We went to Borders to get coffee and talk some more which we did, and I was simply happy to get some good coffee since I have been trying to schedule coffee into my day for most of the week and it simply wasn't happening. It was wonderful, patty wagon latte, oh just thinking about it makes me want one more. I love coffee and I don't get it as I would like, I mean I get it sometimes and I drink plain coffee when I am at home but to go out a get specialty coffee, I simply struggle to find the time. They talked about the things that they have been up to, we talked about politics, jobs, school, where we hope to go, and if we really had any future plans. It was nice to talk but I realize that we are so different that it is strange to be together again. Bethaney is working full time and is getting ready to do her own thing, Freida is still in school and struggling to find herself in her own way, and then there is me, who went back to school after all the whining I did while in my undergrad and I am plotting my move across the country. We all ended up on such different roads, I can only hope that we will get to continue to cross paths throughout the years to come. I love them both so much and I'm so happy that they are getting what they want in life, if for nothing longer than this moment.

After all the Fort Wayne fun I went to my church and sat. After being with the two of them for several hours I realized how much we have changed and how alone I really feel when I am in a room full of people or with close friends. Everything is changing not because we all don't still love each other, but because that is what happens when you are so close then scatter out to your own parts of the world. I sat there alone in our sanctuary and cried and told God how I felt about it all and then I left after sitting for a bit to listen to Him. I don't know what is going on inside of me but I can't wait to see how it is all going to play out.