Bummy Days

Today is a bummy day to say the least. I am not sure that bummy is a word, but it is the best way to describe my actions today. Today I woke up late because I didn't have to work, which is nice, but I have a massive list of things that need to be done including but not limited to: go to post office, dry cleaners, bank, get pay check, today is Kyle's senior night so my evening is booked, trip to wal-mart, do laundry, dishes, and about a half million other things.

As I stated I woke late which didn't bother me one bit, but ohh well and to be truly honest I haven't gotten anything done except a couple loads of laundry and I started loading the dishwasher and I feel like I have done plenty at the moment but still need to run all the other errands on my list.

I have been wondering around the house for hours in flannel pants and a tank top and flip flops, boy talk about over doing the bummy look. I straightened my hair this morning and now I think it looks kinda funny but again ohhh well I'm not trying to impress anyone today. I do need to get slightly more motivated so that I can go into town but my current look is simply not acceptable for going into town.

Bummy days are often the best thinking days which I have noticed I've been doing a whole lot of lately. What do I do? Where do I go? How on earth do I plan on getting there? How do express myself without getting hurt in the long run? All questions that I have built up inside right now. I read about happy days that my friends have had and it is wonderful to know that they are doing so well. Eric met an author that the was excited about and just to read the enlightening words he had to write about how he could hold onto faith and still be open minded about the ideals that others hold was riveting to me. (www.ericbradley.com) I spent most of last night driving around in circles just looking at this place that I have for long called home and was forced to wonder what will become of this place in my heart over the next year and the years to follow.

When it comes to love, yes I am still in love but have decided to give up on the person that I am in love with and start looking other places. I love him and if he decides that he wants me in his life he will in fact have to make the next move. I know that I have never mentioned who I am in love with but I am fairly certain that those of you who read this, who need to know, know who it is and the rest of you will be forced to wonder for many months to come or until something happens. I am also sure that the person I am in love with is well aware of who they are, although I don't know if he even knows this site is out here. So as I have made this choice to start a life without the person that I could so easily see myself spending the rest of my life with I am forced to look back and smile, realizing that whatever we had is gone and what we may have in the future is clearly a ways off and if we both find someone else along the way then that is a choice that we will both have to deal with.

So while I am still dressed like a bum trying to get things around and get some stuff done here I am forced to think about everything that might be or might not be happening in my life and trying to remember that God is always in control. What is to happen will happen and what isn't won't. And in conclusion here goes nothing lets see what the next few weeks have to offer.