A hole in my heart

I have a a hole in my heart. I thought it would have healed by now. I want to know how on earth I can fill it. I know what the hole is from and I know that my heart is breaking and I can't do anything about it. I have this huge hole that means the world to me...I don't like being in love, and more over I don't like being in love with someone who refuses to love me back.

It hurts to know that there is a gap inside me and I can't tell anyone what it really feels like because the only way you would is if you have been there and know how much it hurts to be ripped apart inside and have no where to put it. God is in control and perhaps it isn't the right time but oh well it happens. I'm a mess and I am still sick.

I don't like being sick, I'm sure I've mentioned it before but it is horrible to be sick and not really know why. Hopefully soon I feel better that is what they keep telling me anyway.