Fear Factor

When you hear those two words you think of that horrible NBC show where people voluntarily eat some of the most disgusting things that I have ever seen. Do you ever wonder if this is what God is doing to you? Testing you to see what you are afraid of or what you are willing to do.

One of my biggest fears is to take a leap of faith and that is what it is going to have to be on so many levels, and then the thought it is it a leap of faith or a leap of stupidity. Do I do thing because it is really what God wants me to do or do I stand still proving that it is a lie and I am simply being drained emotionally by none other than myself. I kill myself spiritually, I think we all do and often don't realize that we are doing it when in fact it is so clear to others.

I have nearly committed spiritual suicide on several instances and didn't even realize I was doing it at the time in question. I have cut myself off from my spiritual food and slowly started to starve myself and gasp for air. Even as I sit to write tonight I am walking dangerously close to doing it again. Sunday night Pastor preached to me, without actually saying my name, but I knew who it was directed toward even if he didn't.

So do we play games like fear factor when we are working on jumping out in faith? I think so, just to see how far we can push those limits. I've gotten close to crossing them and I think so many others have too. So now to make my spiritual walk something more than a game.